SANTA ROSA BEACH — The secret to a successful Valentine’s Day isn’t the gift for your loved one, the expense of the meal or anything quantifiable.
It’s being present and engaged, and creating a memorable moment, said Kandi Gardiner, a love and life coach based in Santa Rosa Beach.
“I think guys get stressed about (Valentine’s Day) because they never know what to buy, or women get stressed because it’s usually a dinner out and they want to look good,” Gardiner said. “The important thing is — it’s like a kiss. … You can tell someone is into you by the way they kiss you, if they take a moment, pause, you can tell how engaged they are with you. It’s about the moment, being warm, taking their face in your hands, being sincere, saying ‘I love you deeply’ and here are the reasons why.”
Gardiner, who has a master’s degree in psychology and also has worked as a corporate counselor, will lead a seminar on passion and love as part of the “Romance on the Water” cruise aboard Custom Yacht Charters on Valentine’s Day.
Learn more about her services at LoveAndLifeCoachKandi.com.
“The basis of most discontent is the lack of feeling loved and valued,” she said. “I want to help people identify their core values and then find the partner who’s most in alignment with their values, and learn to manifest their love. You can be a loving person, but if you never manifest your love to someone else, they won’t know.”
Gardiner’s tips for “manifesting love” include just being careful to be personal and intimate in the way you interact. Notice what inspires your significant other, their favorite color or scent. Going out of the way to be present during your moments alone.
“Women can manifest their sensuality,” she said. “It’s not about being sexy, it’s about smelling nice, feeling nice, wearing clothes that have a good texture, the softness of your tone, the music and atmosphere you create. Light the candles, scent the room, evoke passion. Iron the sheets for the one night.”
She says it can help to set a theme. Once, she decided on a jungle theme and set up a dinner with candles, African music playing in the background, live palm trees and tropical plants, air scented with patchouli and sandalwood. She wore a cheetah print and gave her man a small carved cheetah figurine that he could put on his desk at work.
“If you do that, then every time he looks at it, he will always remember the night you shared,” she said.